The general attitude in the writing world is that the editor is always right. I’ve worked with quite a few by now. Most of them I’m perfectly neutral on. A good job gets done.

Some of them make me want to gather every word I’ve ever written and set it all on fire, then throw my computer in too so I never try again.

And some leave me so excited about the changes I’m making to my work, I can feel myself growing into a better writer, like a bean shoot bursting through the soil and taking off in the (not Australian summer) sun.

Those – the bean-shoot-inspiring ones – are the right editors. And the right editor is always right.

(Silly drawing of a fox, in case that’s what you came here for. And if this makes no sense to you, well, sign up for my newsletter, where things make even less sense!)

If you’ve got a fire editor, it’s tough. Assuming you don’t want to write off the project, you have to go through the fire. And chances are there will be some useful points in the job you’ve paid for, either because they have some skill, just not enough, or they’re good at their job but don’t have the right communication style to work with you. Unless you have money to burn and can afford to give the mess to someone else, you want to get what you can.

Here’s how I got through it, and what I’d say if someone I knew suddenly got a ‘fire edit’ back – or any industry equivalent that makes you want to burn your career to the ground:

1. Check your schedule. Do what you need to do to make sure you don’t have to deal with this again in a week/month/year’s time, preferably without burning bridges, in case you realise you’re wrong and it’s not a fire situation. (There are a lot of fire metaphors here. I suppose it’s fitting.) But knowing you won’t ever have to deal with this person again unless you want to puts a clear end date on the upcoming miserable job, and that helps.
2. Get another opinion. Find someone you trust and see if they get the same impression. If they do, you know it’s not you, and it’ll help you put personal feelings aside. If they don’t, it might give you some perspective on what you need. With creative critique, it’s vital to have someone whose communication style matches your sensitivities. Some people love being roasted, and nothing less will get the point across. Others burn easily, and a gentle touch is far more effective. There’s no right or wrong. Find the people who speak to your style and inspire you.
3. Give yourself permission to give up. I couldn’t face my fire job until I decided I wouldn’t do it. Sounds silly, but knowing you can eject the escape pod if it all gets too much can give you the staying power you need. Have a Plan B. Know what the next step would be and that you’re still going after your goal if you throw this job in.
4. Be prepared for a mental double-process. One of the keys to good editing review is being willing to accept that the editor is probably right. You need to let yourself be challenged by their suggestions and corrections. If you have a fire editor, you also need to challenge the editor’s suggestions (to yourself, not them!), because they may not have understood your project and intentions. This takes time and mental energy. Bring tea and snacks. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a break. It’s not you. It’s just a really hard job.
5. Find a colleague who can help when you can’t figure out whether or not the editor is right. This should be number 1, it’s that important, but you want to commit to doing the job first. If you can’t find someone, or even if you can, keep an open document or journal nearby. Sometimes just writing out what you find confusing or troubling about a suggestion will make the answer clear.
6. Pace yourself, but have a deadline. I will procrastinate over this sort of job for weeks, and it doesn’t make it any easier. Putting a time limit on it will stop you overthinking things too much.
7. If it’s an abrasive nature that’s the problem, ah, it’s tough, but it really isn’t you. I don’t believe you need to toughen up to be an artist; a ‘thick skin’ is too often confused for resilience. Try to separate the actual criticism from the presentation, and disregard the rest. In this case, your colleague may be more for moral support and encouragement. A gratitude journal might also help you stay positive. Or keep a diary where you can vent honestly about your feelings. You can even burn it at the end! 😉
8. Have a self-care plan. I get through my tough jobs with the love and support of my family, who I try to spend quality time with even when in the middle of a job like this. I have music playlists that help me keep my mind in the right place. I go for a walk in the evenings and do some stretching or yoga if I feel tight. Know what helps you, and make those things accessible.

I suspect a lot of that applies to any job that’s unusually difficult or troublesome. It’s about pacing, deadlines, balancing ambition with reality, making an escape plan, setting up goal-aligned contingencies, practicing self-care and having a support network. That’s resilience. That’s how you stay in the game, regardless of your proverbial skin thickness.

And, of course, ensuring good snacks.

Whatever industry you’re in or work you do, find a bean-shoot-inspiring person or two to work with. Whether it’s an editor or a director or a curator or an agent or a coach or whatever, find those people who challenge you to be better. They’re hard to find, and it’s deeply personal – my bean-shoot person may not be yours. We all get burnt from time to time. Just keep looking until you find one.